meet me or not, i'm out of control
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
