I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude i'm inner monologue high
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
