no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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