super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
