it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
