Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
