so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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