I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize