What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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