That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
