69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I smell like Dick and happiness
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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