i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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