Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
