garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
