dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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