I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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