All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
