it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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