I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
