A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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