they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
