I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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