Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize