You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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