whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize