Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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