I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
