hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
