What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
