You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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