I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
