I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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