You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
