sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
