I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
