my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
