they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How does it feel to date your dad?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
