how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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