somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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