He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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