What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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