Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
