plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
