Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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