Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize