Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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