im about as happy as oj after his trial
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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