omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
