yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
