Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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