all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
