I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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