Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize