she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
