Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize