Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
