Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
