What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
