I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
