i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
