rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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